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Writings Area: View Submission |
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Second To None
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Overall Rating: 92.5333333333%
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Rating Details 
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This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 92.5333333333% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:
Concept/Plot:
Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought? | 92.3333333333% |
Imagery:
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it? | 91.6666666667% |
Spelling and Grammar:
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentances or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant? | 92.6666666667% |
Flow/Rhythm:
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
| 93.5% |
Vocabulary:
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have? | 92.5% | |
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Written by: PunchingBag
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Type: Story
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Submitted: 1278556660
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The cigarette was tough to keep lit in the rain, but with guidance, the smoldering tip stayed lit even against the wind. He walked with his shoulders hunched, trying to keep what little heat he could produce trapped within the confines of his body, but even the bitter cold couldn’t keep the cocky smile off his face.
It was hard to keep from chortling as he stared around at the buildings. Every time humanity had a new modern age, they claimed their achievements were better than any before. In his opinion, the Egyptians still held that title, but the Babylonians hadn’t been too bad either. Too bad most of their stuff was about as transitory as the current modern age; the things they could do with magnets had been pretty impressive.
Flipping his collar against the wind, he smiled at the flashing lights. The weight of his guns against his back was a permanent comfort; never knew when you might need to shoot something. He had fired the first gun, after all, and had found a taste for it immediately. Something about the smell of gunpowder and the feeling of an intricate piece of metal bucking in his hand really spoke to him. It had only taken a few centuries for humanity to perfect the intriguing little weapons, too.
He was an immortal. He didn’t know why. He didn’t want to know. Life was as life did. If he found out that he was actually the son of some god, he might find out he had a destiny, and he liked his freedom too much to risk it. After ninety-four thousand years, he wanted nothing more than to keep on rolling with life as it came.
Nations rose and fell, cities grew and crumbled, and the world kept on turning. He had watched it all change, and changed along with it, observing as humanity bumbled their way through time. He could more or less remember where he came from; somewhere in Africa, as he recalled. His family had kept on the move, usually just eating whatever they found as they roamed, hunting as they needed to. They never aged, never got sick, and life had been good. Eventually, as the world changed, they were forced to change with it, if only to keep surviving.
He was the only one left, now. His last cousin had died about six hundred years ago or so, in Ireland. Pretty bad bar fight, as he understood it. He had visited the grave. He left a bottle of whiskey.
Ages came and went like blinks of his eye. He had more names over the millennia than even he could remember anymore, more lives than he cared to think about. He had been a hero, a villain, a king, a knight, a tyrant, a lord, a god, a pauper, a monk, an engineer, a leader, a gunfighter, and hundreds more. He had been present at the Sack of Troy, watched the Mongols crash against the Great Wall, broken bread with Rasputin, and stood on the edge of the crevasse as Atlantis sank into the sea. He had been through three world floods and seven ice ages, and kept tabs on the rise of the Himalayas. He knew more languages than the world even knew existed.
He had stopped using the expression “Can’t say I’ve ever…” or anything of the like, because no matter how unlikely it seemed, he had probably done it before. He had been everywhere, seen everything, and done it all. Though many had tried, none had brought about his end.
He was the king of it all, second to none.
With a pause in his step, he took a long drag on the cigarette to breathe life into it. One of the better inventions of this “modern age.” Of course, the cancer and diseases that came with them weren’t such a good thing, but it wasn’t like it was a worry to him. The way he smoked and drank, his lungs and liver should have shriveled up and fallen off a long time ago. He had given drinking up entirely when his tolerance became more of an immunity, sometime during the Roman era.
The rain was cold in his short hair. Looking around at the transitory achievements of the Seventh Age, he wondered just where the hell he had left his hat.
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#1 |
on July 08 2010 04:08:25
#2 |
on July 08 2010 08:58:32
#3 |
on July 08 2010 13:37:20
#4 |
on July 08 2010 18:50:44
#5 |
on July 09 2010 21:30:39
#6 |
on July 29 2010 15:43:32
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Character Battle 1-10
Spiderman (Peter Parker)
63% [5 Votes]
Sarah Kerrigan (the Queen of Blades)
38% [3 Votes]
Votes: 8
You must login to vote. Started: 30/08/2010 09:40 Polls Archive
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