Rob Kosy

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Gender: 
Cyborg
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Newcastle Upon Tyne (UK)
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2 years 10 months

Submitted Content

The Titanic.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 16:39

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    Denizens, today marks the hundredth anniversary of one of British Maritime’s most infamous disasters. On the 14th of April 1912, the largest ship of its generation, The Titanic, sank on its maiden voyage.

    ‘A cat-ass-trophy’, the world agreed. But what the hell did they expect?
 
    ‘Its unsinkable!’ everyone said.
 
    Now, if that’s not poking fate with a poo-stick, I don’t know what is.

Abbey And The Christmas Worry Gue.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Fri, 12/16/2011 - 17:09

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A sequel to The Girl Who Saved Christmas. I wrote this for my daughter three years ago when she was six.

A Cup of Tea, A Packet of Shortbread, And A Copy of The Daily Sport.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 16:03

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In a pond far, far away, immersed in waters so polluted as to be uninhabitable, there exists a gaggle of herrings. Many of these scaly scoundrels are dead, others twisted and maligned, but, rest assured, all are completely bonkers. Yes, sit back, relax and allow the madness free reign as the ‘pond herrings’ extol their many opinions about life, current events and the pitiable (innocently sexist), existence of their host, Rob Kosy.

Sport Pondherrings (Part 2)

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 16:26

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The Sunday Sport has arrived and here goes the herring.

Sport Pondherrings (Part 1)

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sat, 08/27/2011 - 16:36

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A tribute to The Den and its many stalwarts, given voice by a mental fish!

Thrice Upon a Swine.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sun, 05/15/2011 - 19:35

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Once upon a time, and all that bollocks, there were three little twats: Porky, Dorky and Slim. Of course, those weren’t their real names. I chose those monikers myself after they stitched me up and left me to rot in this maximum security dump these past twenty years.

Ice Cream Pondherrings.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sun, 04/03/2011 - 16:17

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Regular as clockwork (17.50 Monday to Friday; 19.00 weekends) I entered my ‘thinking place’ only to be confronted by a new seat cresting the ceramic pool into which I dump my waste.

As I’m sure you can imagine, I felt instantly violated.

For starters, it was pink.

Equality Pondherrings.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sat, 02/05/2011 - 16:04

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I don’t know about you, but from time to time, I sincerely believe the world is going mad. Or at least that’s what the herrings in my pond would have me think.

Dad

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Sat, 01/08/2011 - 17:05

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Hunch? Theory? Opinion? Call it whatever you like, but I’ve got one.

“But opinions are like dog shit,” I hear you say, “you notice it or you don’t. Sometimes they’re spread around, other times washed away, but at one time or another we, all of us, will stand right in the middle of one.”

The Girl Who Saved Christmas.

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Submitted by Rob Kosy on Fri, 12/17/2010 - 17:14

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Too excited for sleep on this pre-Christmas night,
one little girl couldn’t wait for morning’s light.
So with pictures of Santa and presents in her head,
Abbey lay awake in her Christmas eve bed.

The creak of a floor board, a squeak of the door,
sounds that Abbey had heard lots before.
But on this special night with snow on the ground,
Abbey knew who had made that sound.

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